True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked.Erich Segal
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?Anonymous
Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties.Jules Renard
I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.David Bissonette
Ahhhh Love... It's in the air!I love the Valentines holiday! I love the decorations, the candy...especially the candy...and, of course, the Valentines! I came across a few things that I think would be ...well...interesting gifts...
That's a treat.
wow. sick.
Yeah, nothing says" I Love You" like cutting off your ear...but for you Van Gough fans...maybe this is for you. When you fill it with hot liquid..the ear disappears.
What exactly is this supposed to do?...I know they always say, we always hurt the ones we love, but...seriously...
now this one makes sense at least...kisses on the boo-boos...OK.Maybe you can put them on the voodoo dolls after you fill them all with pins...
...what a useful book...
I believe there is definitely a market for this...I wonder if they make an"Instant Adoring Husband" DVD...or maybe subliminal tapes...And who could forget Miss Jolene Sugarbaker (remember the dryer-sheet wreath at Christmas?) She's full of useful and romantic gift ideas...
"Here���s my custom made Valentines gift! Roach Killer Gift Pack You���ll find instructions in the February Archive of my Column at
Instinct Magazine
My boys are all over this one!
'nuff said....
LOVE GUNCatapults Cupids up to
fifteen feet!!!
Are you up for a little fling?
The Love Gun is a hand-held catapult that sends little cupids soaring across the room.
Each package contains four little plastic cupids and a 5-3/4" cupid cannon. Just squeeze the trigger, and love takes flight.
If you have a "special someone," the both of you can take turns. And if you DON'T have a "special someone," then you can amuse yourself with the Love Gun until one shows up!
Collards is green,
my dog's name is Blue
and I'm so lucky
to have a sweet thang like you.
Yore hair is like cornsilk
a-flapping in the breeze.
Softer than Blue's
and without all them fleas.
You move like the bass,
which excite me in May.
You ain't got no scales
but I luv you anyway.
You have some'a yore teeth,
for which I am proud;
I hold my head high
when we're in a crowd.
On special occasions
when you shave under yore arms,
well, I'm in hawg heaven,
and awed by yore charms.
Yo're as cute as a junebug
a-buzzin' overhead.
You ain't mean like those far ants
I found in my bed.
Cut from the best cloth
like a plaid flannel shirt,
you spark up my life more
than a fresh load of dirt.
Some men, they buy chocolate
for Valentine's Day;
They git it at Wal-Mart,
it's romantic that way.
I got you a gift,
without taste nor odor,
More useful than diamonds...
it's a new troll'n motor!!
.
9 comments:
Stephanie,You are so flippin' (yea I'm still in Utah) funny! I love to read your blogs, where in the world do you come up with this stuff....? You're a super Woman...you decorate, keep track of your children, make your husband laugh and entertain the rest of us with your incredibly witty sense of humor! Wow..that's really all I can say-haha!
Well, having seen all these marvelous gift ideas I am sure that anything Eric gets me will disappoint. Poor guy.
Oh my gosh too funny! I love the boyfriend that compliments non stop. I guess I'm lucky though because I have the real life husband that compliments non stop...awwwww LOVE!!
Well, I will receive nothing that even compares to your list. Let me know which your hubby chooses for you! Still snickering.
o.k. did you get into my "secret cupboard" and take pictures of my stuff? ha ha. Good job on Mom's blog by the way.
i need a toast stamp fo sho! reminds me of nacho libre-mi pelicula favorita!
Oh my word, Stephanie!! Where do you find this stuff? Holy cow, this made me laugh!! I loved it. Now I have a few ideas for your birthday!! :) Or Lance's, actually.
Those were some pretty good gifts! I don't know where you find this stuff. But I'm glad you do so you can give us all a good laugh.
You are hilarious. Your v-day gift from me is on it's way...read my response to your comment back on my blog...
Love the new blog look! Muy cute.
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