CNN's Glen Beck's Tribute to Pres. Hinckley

That's Amore!

True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked. Erich Segal



If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? Anonymous



Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties. Jules Renard


I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste. David Bissonette

Ahhhh Love... It's in the air!
I love the Valentines holiday! I love the decorations, the candy...especially the candy...and, of course, the Valentines! I came across a few things that I think would be ...well...interesting gifts...

That's a treat.

wow. sick.

Yeah, nothing says" I Love You" like cutting off your ear...but for you Van Gough fans...maybe this is for you. When you fill it with hot liquid..the ear disappears.

What exactly is this supposed to do?...I know they always say, we always hurt the ones we love, but...seriously...

now this one makes sense at least...kisses on the boo-boos...OK.
Maybe you can put them on the voodoo dolls after you fill them all with pins...

...what a useful book...


I believe there is definitely a market for this...I wonder if they make an"Instant Adoring Husband" DVD...or maybe subliminal tapes...



And who could forget Miss Jolene Sugarbaker (remember the dryer-sheet wreath at Christmas?) She's full of useful and romantic gift ideas...

"Here���s my custom made Valentines gift! Roach Killer Gift Pack You���ll find instructions in the February Archive of my Column at
Instinct Magazine

My boys are all over this one!


'nuff said....

LOVE GUN
Catapults Cupids up to
fifteen feet!!!

Are you up for a little fling?

The Love Gun is a hand-held catapult that sends little cupids soaring across the room.

Each package contains four little plastic cupids and a 5-3/4" cupid cannon. Just squeeze the trigger, and love takes flight.

If you have a "special someone," the both of you can take turns. And if you DON'T have a "special someone," then you can amuse yourself with the Love Gun until one shows up!

Valentines don't always have to be temporal gifts..sometimes a nice poem is all that is needed to melt her heart...like this redneck Valentine poem...it just says it all...

Collards is green,
my dog's name is Blue
and I'm so lucky
to have a sweet thang like you.

Yore hair is like cornsilk
a-flapping in the breeze.
Softer than Blue's
and without all them fleas.

You move like the bass,
which excite me in May.
You ain't got no scales
but I luv you anyway.

You have some'a yore teeth,
for which I am proud;
I hold my head high
when we're in a crowd.

On special occasions
when you shave under yore arms,
well, I'm in hawg heaven,
and awed by yore charms.

Yo're as cute as a junebug
a-buzzin' overhead.
You ain't mean like those far ants
I found in my bed.

Cut from the best cloth
like a plaid flannel shirt,
you spark up my life more
than a fresh load of dirt.

Some men, they buy chocolate
for Valentine's Day;
They git it at Wal-Mart,
it's romantic that way.

I got you a gift,
without taste nor odor,
More useful than diamonds...
it's a new troll'n motor!!

.

Seriously?...Again?

Yep. Here we go again. Crap.
There they are at your doorstep looking totally adorable, asking if you'd like to buy Satan's goodies.
THESE are the Devil.
Thin Mints.

THESE are the Devil's advocates.

Here's how it always goes down..
...And there you have it.
If you were on the weight-loss-new-healthier you-new-years-resolution- band-wagon...you now, have not only fallen off, but are now being run over and trampled by it.
Sure, you try to say, I'll just buy one box...or two...OK three, but that is my limit!!! The next thing you know, the bagger boy is not only loading groceries into your car, but girl scout cookies as well and your trunk ends up looking like this...

Then you drive home, call for your hired help to unload your cookies

Pretty soon, you've got yourself a millenial supply....

What we need is a Strategic Avoidance Plan...or S.A.P. for short, since that is what I am when I buy these blasted things

First I thought hiding out on a deserted island this time of year would suffice...but some one has already tried that with no success...
Leaving me no other choice but to hire Senator Palpatine as my guard...if you have any S.A.P. ideas...please, for the love of all that is good and skinny...PLEASE share!!!...In the meantime, I'll be hanging out with the senator.

Together Again

Together again...
I'm sure many of you know that Pres. Gordon B. Hinckley, 15th president of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints died at the age of 97. What a wonderful man! What a wonderful example! We will miss him and his spirit, his loving nature, quick wit and humor. What a stalwart servant of the Lord. What joy there must be in heaven at this time as he is reunited with his sweetheart, loved ones and his Savior.We love you and will miss you Pres. Hinckley. "Til we meet again..."

This is what we are doing for our next Family Home Evening....

Blessed Gifts

Move over J.K. Rowling! There's a new author in town!

Creative Communication--the student writing contest headquarters,(which funny enough,is located in Logan Utah..) has selected a poem of Miss Madison Hacking's to be published in their Fall 2007 hardbound anthology, "A Celebration of Young Poets"!!
The finished hardbound copy will be ready for shipment in 20-24 weeks!...which is a while, but worth the wait!
Madi is a very gifted writer, which works out great since that's what she wants to be when she grows up! She has won awards in the past for some of her other writings, but this will be her first publication!
You can read more about it HERE



Here is the poem she wrote that will be in the book:

Everything

I look around and see darkness.
I look at you and see light.
No matter how upset I am,
You make everything right.
I see you every day,
And I wish I could say,
All I want to say.
Because you're everything to me.
You make me who I want to be.
I'm happy around you.
I feel safe around you.
I can't live without you.
You're everything to me.

Madi Hacking, Grade 6
Clint Small Jr. Middle School, TX

When I asked Madi who she had in mind when she wrote this, she said," Well, it can be lots of different people. Sometimes it's my siblings, sometimes it's you and Dad, and it's always the Savior."

Madi, you have truly been blessed with a gift. YOU are a gift to our family. We love you! Thanks for sharing your gifts with us and others! Congrats! Sweetie!

Perfect Parenting

I'm going to start teaching a parenting class. I find that when you have visual aids, it really helps people catch the vision of what you're trying to get them to understand. I thought I'd share a few with you:

Pretty good eh? I expect Dr. Phil and Oprah will be calling any moment begging for me to share this valuable info on their shows....oh! There's the phone!

Napoleon Spider-mite

My friend Kristi
had this on her blog, it is flippin' sweet! Spidey has got some sweet dancin' skills!

Withdrawls

I give up!!! I have looked EVERYWHERE!!!! They do not sell Cinnamon Bears in Texas. This is extremely annoying to me. I am always reminded of the lack of the bears , particularly at this time of year because all of the Valentines candy comes out. They sell sugar-coated cinnamon hearts, and if I'm lucky, I can find cinnamon lips...but they're just not the same. :(


Whenever we visit Utah, I always stock up. Especially on the chocolate covered cinnamon bears at Macy's. You can find them in the bulk section....I miss them. If any of you out there love me at all....send me some cinnamon bears...regular, or chocolate covered...either is fine!!! I just need some!!! Meanwhile, I'll be writing a letter to our Govenor letting him know about this problem...clearly he is not aware of the gross lack of cinnamon bears in our country....I mean state (a little humor for you Texans..) otherwise, we'd have cinnamon bears more readily available...