Let's have a Read-In!

So, yesterday, Conor brings this book home
from the school library
"Life as an Army Demolition Expert"
O.K.
Notice it is a High Interest book.
Just what every mother dreams of her child
reading in First grade....what's funny is. I am
sure there are MANY first grade boys who are
wondering what it would be like to be an
Army Demolition Expert...Chase and Wyatt were
quite impressed with this selection...this got me to thinking,
what other weird, brain washing books are there
at the Elementary School library?...What other weird
books are there at the local book store?
This called for an investigation, to ease my weird curiosity....
here's what i found...You're welcome...now you don't
have to spend mindless, un-neccessary hours of searching




















A question I often ask myself....























...ummmm, O.K....don't really need that...

















I wonder why they're so brief?....

















Dang...what a nasty way to go...
CSI probably got called in for that mystery

Notice, these are both Second Edition....
I guess their strategies didn't go so well the first time...

...This one is available at the cannery or
LDS distribution...

WOW...how profound.

Sure to be found on the "Children's Classics" list






















...Well they didn't need to waste time writing this book
All they had to do was ask my kids....


















I'm pretty sure someone was watching me
when they wrote this book...I'm surprised
they didn't add, "...and walls, and poles, and
other people...and the island in the middle of the kitchen..."

Better get this one for Lauren...I'll bet
she had no idea horses were targets for terrorists...

...and saving the best and most important for last...
This seriously cracked me up, and I am FOR SURE buying it!!
I have a lovely place on my coffee table to display it.
And I'm not even kidding, IN FACT, WHEN I find it,
I will buy TWO, and give one away on my blog!!!
So, STAY TUNED!!!...
and in the mean time, brush up on your abandoning
ship skills...or somsing...

Jewelry!!! FREE!!!!

I was reading one of my magazines today
and came across an article about free stuff
that's available on the internet that most people don't
know about. One of the sites listed had the word
"free jewelry" and that's all it took to get my attention!
I love jewelry! I'm particularly fond of rings!
Anywhooo, I checked it out and it turns out this
company will send you sterling silver and gemstone
jewelry for free!...except for shipping and handling of course :)
Still...$5.99 for some of these things is a good deal to me!
Why do they do it? It's all marketing. There's a catch of course.
Each item is shipped separately, so you pay $5.99 for each thing
individually, also, the rings come in only the size advertised.
Generally they are sizes 7,8,&9, which is great for me because
I have big hands! A size 7 will fit my ring finger, 8 & 9
will fit my middle finger. ANYWAY, it's pretty nice
looking, good quality stuff for the price! they carry
most birthstones and with mother's day coming...might
just make some great gifts!
It's addicting though! They switch the featured
items every 15 minutes, but they have something
you can click on that says, "what's coming up next"
and if you click to check those items, and give your
email address, they'll send you an email telling you
when you're desired item is available!
You can check out the link here
and here's some pics of some of their stuff!

6 weird things about me....even though there's more...

I need to get caught up on my tags...
this one's from my sis-in-law Megan
She knows there's a LOT of weird things
about me...it was hard to cut the list
down to just six, but here they are:

1) I need fresh moving air at all times.
Even if I'm cold, I have to have the ceiling fan
on when I go to bed. In the car...I have the
vents shooting right at my face. I come by this
odd quirk honestly though...my mom is the same way....
Thanks mom! :)

2) I put deodorant on at least 3 times a day.
Hey! It's hot and sometimes very humid
down here and I don't like to stink...In the summer
I even keep a travel sized one in my purse....
just in case!

3) I love to scare the crap out of my kids...
and their friends...
and people at the front door....
When my kids have friends over, I'll bang
on the door while I very quickly open it, while
yelling, "What 'cha doin'?!!??"...they jump and
scream every time! Their friends laugh,...
my kids roll their eyes.
I do the same thing when someone I know,
or on rare occasion DON'T know, comes and
rings the doorbell or knocks on the door...I
bang on it really hard with my fists before opening it.
I've made some of my friends pee a little in their pants,
and there is often a blood curdling scream accompanying it...
I just love that.
And even though I always do this to the Home Teachers,
they keep coming.... :)

4) I don't really enjoy eating out very much,
which is a problem, because I really don't
enjoy cooking very much either...I'd rather just eat candy.

5) I'm obsessed with keeping my feet looking nice.
I do my own mini-pedicures every time I get out of the shower...
this may be because I live in flip flops and don't like ugly feet...

6) I don't like my food to touch each other.
each thing has its place on my plate...
and that's where they stay until I eat them.

Got weird quirks? Go ahead and share 'em!

"I just need to learn to breed"

Yeah, got my attention also.

This last weekend was the Fathers-and-Sons
camp-out. I took my three boys. While setting up
our tent, an 11-yr old came over to talk shop with
my 9-yr old. I realize youth have lots of stuff going
on and things to worry about, however, call me old
fashion, but I didn't think "learning to breed" was
one of them.
Needless to say, I started listening a bit more closely.
Turns out it was related to some dumb video game
(which is now struck from our list of ones to buy).

My other favorite quote for the camp-out:
Conor, my 6 yr old: "Dad, this year's not too bad.
Better than last year."

That night, we were hit with one of Texas' famous
thunderstorms - short lived, but fantastic. Lightning
was everywhere for a few hours.
It was beautiful, but I don't think my sons like it -
unless curled up in the fetal position covering their
ears and eyes and crying is some kind of new game.
So, we all sat in the car and watched a movie
until 10:30PM when they were so tired I could take
them back the the tent where they plopped to sleep.
Ah, good times.

Next morning was nice and we spent it down at the
river watching boys be boys (no, I don't mean
grunting, burbing, forgetting everything girls say
and peeing on stuff). No video games, no computers
- just exploring and dorking around. They didn't
want to leave.
I'm so looking forward to summer!

Garage Sale...

Garage Sale....Phooey.
As I have mentioned, we will be putting our
house on the market in May. SOOOoo, I have been
de-cluttering our closets. For the life of me, I do
NOT know where all of this crap came from. There is no
way that my children could possibly PLAY with all of these toys.
So, we decided to have a garage sale..yard sale..tag sale..
whatever you want to call it...
These things drive me crazy.






















First you have to go through everything and price it...
making sure it's not too high, but not too low...
this is your GOOD stuff after all...you paid good
money for it...more than you should have probably...
Then you haul it all outside and strategically display it
so it looks extra expensive..you may even choose to
play a bit of elevator music to loosen up the hoards of
people you're expecting..ya know, maybe push your
baby grand out into the driveway to play for the
shoppers so they feel like they're at Nordstroms.





















However, instead you get the Wal-Mart crowd.
You know who I'm talking about...not trying to
be stereo-typical, or judgmental, but you know
who I'm talking about.
They come by the van loads...or in SUV's and they
mess up all of your nice displays...pushing all of the
buttons, dumping out all of the puzzle pieces ...Then comes
the haggling.."Will you come down on the price?"
Come down on the price!!??!! I paid $300 for that last
week, and I'm now selling it for $0.50!...The Ziploc
baggie it's packaged in cost more than that!...but
finally you agree on $0.25, because their cute little
kids are looking at you like,"Oh PLEASE lady!!! It's the
ONLY toy my mommy can afford to buy me for
my birthday this year!!"....and they hand you a $50.00 bill
and say,"Do you have change?"...what the?!?!?
DO I HAVE CHANGE??!?!
DO I HAVE CHANGE?!?!?
NO!!, I DO NOT HAVE CHANGE FOR A FIFTY DOLLAR BILL!!
But guess what ?!?! I HAVE CHANGED my mind!
Go to freakin' Toys'R'Us with your fifty dollar bill
and buy that kid a REAL birthday present!!! Crimony.




















The rest of the morning goes on like this...
question after question..."Does this work?"
Nope...just thought I'd sell a broken toy to a sucka!
YES, it works!...it just needs new batteries.
"Do you have some batteries so I can check it?"
Get off my property.
"Does this one million piece puzzle have all of the pieces?"
Probably. why don't you sit there on the
driveway and put it together...if it's missing a piece...
I'll cut the price from $.025 to $0.23...idiot...




















Finally, you get to the end and you're just sick of it
and someone catches you in a weak moment,
and hauls off with everything you have left,
plus one of your cars for about $7.50.
Ya feel good about that do ya?!?! Well,
I want a receipt! I am totally writing you off as a charity
on my taxes come next year!




















Glad it's done....I've already decided any more crap I find,
is going directly to Goodwill...that way I'll get a receipt
for my charitable donations, and I won't have to put
myself through that again!

We've all had these days...or wanted too....

Menopausal Women...what we have to look forward to...

Happy B-Day Mark!

Hey buddy, I know you can't read this, but
hope you have a great day. We are so grateful
to have you in our family. It is always uplifting
to talk to you on the phone and read your letters.
I'm especially impressed that you remember all
the kids' birthdays and make a card for them.
Usually, when your card comes in the mail, that's
how I remember. Will you please start sending a
card for my anniversary ? Although my
sister-in-law Carey tends to remind me 2 or 3
or 467 times...

I thought people would enjoy seeing one of the
cards you have made or had made.
Although ink pens are available, in prison, you
can't exactly go to Hobby Lobby and pick up a set
of paints. People come up with amazingly
innovative ways to get stuff done in prison. For this
card, the coloring on Skittles and M&Ms was used to
paint the boy's flag, shirt, and hair as well as the
fur on the Lynx. Pretty cool!


We love you and can't wait to see you this summer!

...and they lived happily ever after!

Happy Anniversary!!

Today is my Mom and Dad's
39th Anniversary!!!
I have learned so much about marriage
and relationships from my parents.
They have ALWAYS put each other first,
before anyone, or anything else.
As long as I can remember, they have
had their Friday night date...much to me
and my sisters dismay, as we were left to
babysit our bratty little brothers (they got better!)
And now my girls have been subjected to the same
fate while Lance and I go out on our date night
every Friday night! (thanks girls!)
Through my parents example, I have learned
that marriage is not always easy, but if you put
each other first, and keep an eternal perspective,
always working to be obedient to the Lord's will,
you CAN live happily ever after!

Thanks Mom and Dad! Love you!

Indiana Feva!

ONLY ONE MONTH LEFT!!!
May 22-My Indiana Jones is coming!!
I'm so excited, I can't even stand it!!
Have you EVER SEEN so many exclamation points?!!!
You can check it all out,at the
"official" Indiana Jones website, including a
countdown to opening day , HERE!!!
I just LOVE this guy...seriously...I'm not
even kidding a little...
The guys have their Angelina Jolie...
The gals have their Harrison Ford...


















wow.
seriously.





















Still looks good to me!


















Check out this whip action!


























Speaking of Bullwhips, and hats...That's one of the things
that first turned me on to Lance!...He went on
his mission to Australia and brought back with him
a Duster Coat (Think Man From Snowy River)
A hat..very much like Indy's, and a bullwhip that he
could swing around his head and crack that thing so loud,
it sounded like a gun going off!...I was impressed!...
He was so cool...my little brothers all went out and
bought cheap little versions of his bullwhip so they
could be like Lance!
Here's some pics. of MY Indy...


















These are pictures from his mission...





























...and these are from a trip we took with my whole extended
family right after we got engaged...

































THAT'S a Hunk-A-Burnin' Love right there...

He and his bullwhip were a hit there too...
in fact my Aunt Jeanette decided to give it a try...

















...she had good whipping skills....must have had
practice on her kids! hee,hee!

There is so much excitement about this movie,
I'm going to the midnight show ...by myself,
if I have to...
My kids are excited about it too...even more than
the movie, my boys are excited about the Lego
Indiana Jones game.




















Cute li'l fella...




















They've already got all the Indiana Jones Lego sets
















SO, WE ARE READY!!!! WA-HOOO!!!
Any other Indy fans out there?

Check out the trailer!!!