Stupid puppy,
Notice I didn't start our this letter with "dear" this time. There's a reason for that. There is nothing "Dear" about you. Although Chase would beg to differ. Be grateful you have allies stupid puppy....stick close to them.
Now. I realize you are young. BUT. Are you really that stupid? Because your behavior would lead me to believe that you are. WHY oh WHY do you still have "accidents" in my house? I was VERY disappointed to find out that if I stop feeding you , I'll get in some kind of trouble with the law and animal rights activists. I now have to think up a new plan to stop this nonsense. You whine to get out of your kennel ALL the time. So what do I do? I let you out. I take you outside to go potty, and when you do, I make a BIG deal out of it. Parades, fireworks, the whole bit. So explain to me why then, when we come back into the house, you still go potty on my floor?
I hate you when you do that.
And speaking of whining.
When daddy and Lauren get up at 5:30am to go to Seminary, this DOES NOT mean you need to get up too. They don't even let dogs go to seminary. It IS NOT your responsibility to wake up the rest of the family at this time. We still have another hour before we need to get up. If you thought it was your job to bark over and over again from 5:30 until 6:30...you were grossly misinformed. This will be your last warning about this stupid puppy. Because you know what? In two months I'm taking you to get your "package" removed...and guess what else they can remove if you don't shut your trap?...your barky box. And don't think I won't do it. THAT is not against the law.
I am leaving this weekend and I will not miss you. You had better be good for your babysitter Erika, or else I'll tell her to put you in a bag with rocks and take you for a swim at Town Lake.
You just think about that stupid puppy.
P.S. I'm getting pretty good with the bow and arrow.
Notice I didn't start our this letter with "dear" this time. There's a reason for that. There is nothing "Dear" about you. Although Chase would beg to differ. Be grateful you have allies stupid puppy....stick close to them.
Now. I realize you are young. BUT. Are you really that stupid? Because your behavior would lead me to believe that you are. WHY oh WHY do you still have "accidents" in my house? I was VERY disappointed to find out that if I stop feeding you , I'll get in some kind of trouble with the law and animal rights activists. I now have to think up a new plan to stop this nonsense. You whine to get out of your kennel ALL the time. So what do I do? I let you out. I take you outside to go potty, and when you do, I make a BIG deal out of it. Parades, fireworks, the whole bit. So explain to me why then, when we come back into the house, you still go potty on my floor?
I hate you when you do that.
And speaking of whining.
When daddy and Lauren get up at 5:30am to go to Seminary, this DOES NOT mean you need to get up too. They don't even let dogs go to seminary. It IS NOT your responsibility to wake up the rest of the family at this time. We still have another hour before we need to get up. If you thought it was your job to bark over and over again from 5:30 until 6:30...you were grossly misinformed. This will be your last warning about this stupid puppy. Because you know what? In two months I'm taking you to get your "package" removed...and guess what else they can remove if you don't shut your trap?...your barky box. And don't think I won't do it. THAT is not against the law.
I am leaving this weekend and I will not miss you. You had better be good for your babysitter Erika, or else I'll tell her to put you in a bag with rocks and take you for a swim at Town Lake.
You just think about that stupid puppy.
P.S. I'm getting pretty good with the bow and arrow.
