When you want to send the very best....

My friend over at Bumps&Bruises

Had these Hilarious LDS cards on her blog, and I just had to share them!

..They are just SO my sense of humor...

Many Thanks!!

Just wanted to say THANK YOU for all of the nice Birthday wishes, cards and gifts!! You all SPOILED me!!! I am so blessed to have so many caring friends and family...and that is truly the BEST gift!!

Love to you all!!!

Evaporation

OK. For some reason, I feel it's important that all my friends understand the concept of evaporation.

"The process by which a liquid changes to a gas or vapor."

My version of this is:

Texas = HOT = Stuff Evaporates (goes away).

Case in point. Steph's wonderful visiting teacher Natalie is an awesome cook. A few weeks ago she brought a key lime cheesecake. This week she brought Steph a key lime pie. With everything going on with Conor and Steph staying at the hospital, Steph hasn't actually seen the pie yet (She'll likely see this post first).

I however am very familiar with it. I've expanded the scope of words like "breakfast bar" and "salad" to include key lime pie and preceed to sneak small slivers of pie a bit at a time.

This morning I started to pull it out to show Steph. I was shocked to realize exactly how little is left. And on her birthday! Dang I'd better buy her something sparkly.



I'm planning on blaming it on the texas heat and evaporation. If that doesn't work, and this is the last you hear from me, you'll realize she didn't buy it.

Stay tuned,
Breakfast Bar and Salad Expert

Happy Birthday Steph!

Today Steph is 29......again!

More than anything else, Steph brings vitality to life, raising it beyond simple existence. This has been the case since I first met her. 16 years ago, I was amazed by this girl that was not only blindingly beautiful, but was so active and engaging that it made my life appear to forever be on pause.
Steph:
Job as a nurse in the O.R. (obviously still handy)
Avid Mountain biker
Non-stop vacation planer (gets this from her parents)
Decorator
Did I mention how dang cute she is?

Me:
I like computers

When I saw her and started making my moves (yeah, it was as sad as you imagine), she asked if I liked to Mountain bike. I of course lied and said "yes" so that I had an excuse to be at her house planning our Young Single Adult's trip to Moab. She may have been suspicious when she kept asking me to ride and I told her my hamstring was sprung.

Today Steph continues to be the source of energy and life to our home and all we do and I'm glad some of that comes out in the blog-world.

This is one of my favorite pics of Steph:


We were on the Disney Cruise with her family at a turtle farm in Grand Cayman. It is just soooo Steph to be on an amazing vacation she helped plan, showing our kids something cool (great mom), and looking way hot. Yeah, I'm lucky and know it.

Happy Birthday cutie!

Conor and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day.....

Conor had a very bad day yesterday.

Conor had a very bad night last night.

I've mentioned that a week ago Conor had his Adenoids and tonsils out. He has had a VERY tough recovery. Mainly because his tonsils were not only huge, but also, embeded into his neck wall, extending up into his upper palette ...In short, it was a very invasive surgery...not typical of most T&As. I had called the Dr.'s office the day before asking that he be seen because he seemed to be having such a horrible time...worse than expected. My Dr....who is awesome, I might add, was unfortunately out of town, and the Dr. in office refused to see him, saying that this was typical for a week out from surgery, and called us in some more pain medication.

Last evening at around 5:00pm, Conor started talking funny and said it felt like there was something in his throat. I offered him a drink of water and told him the scabs were supposed to be sluffing off around this time and that maybe that's what was happening. I gave him another drink to see if it helped. It didn't. I asked if I could see in his throat...he can hardly open his mouth , so I couldn't see anything. I started getting that feeling that I NEEDED to see down his throat. So, I asked him to open up again and I gently poked the back wall of his throat so that he would gag, letting me see inside. This worked, and what I saw, stopped my heart. There in the back of his throat was a fresh blood clot filling his entire airway. He immediately gagged it up --which eneded up being as big as a lemon--into my hands, then proceeded to throw up more blood than any person ever should.
I yelled to Lance, "We're going to the ER!!!!"
Lance scooped him up and we were off to Dell Children's Hospital.
Conor threw up more large blood clots and blood on the way to the ER, filling a grocery bag I had grabbed on the way out the door. When we arrived at the triage desk, I said I needed a triage nurse NOW!!! The receptionist calmly said,"she'll be with you in a minute"...I said, "NO, This kid is hemorrhaging and throwing up blood...I'll see her NOW."...and just on Que, Conor let loose again releasing an enormous blood clot, sending blood shooting out his mouth, nose, and all over her desk.

That got their attention.

He was rushed back to a room where they got an IV started, and squirted something into the back of his throat to help slow the bleeding. They did some lab work and contacted the ENT on call. He'd lost a lot of blood, and we were waiting on the labs to see if he needed a transfusion. The ENT came in and said he was taking Conor back into surgery right away. He was on the fence about the transfusion, and said , We'll see how surgery goes, then draw another lab to see...

Then they wheeled away my baby.

Only half hour later, the Dr. came out and said they were able to cauterize the bleeding and got it to stop. He also pulled off the remaining scabs and cauterized them as well. Things looked good. He also said that they pumped his stomach, and that pumping all of the blood he'd swallowed took longer than the surgery itself, but that should help him not be so nauseated. He also said, that he was close enough on his labs that they weren't going to do a transfusion, that they wanted his body to catch it up if it could.

We got admitted into a room around midnight,...they were in and out checking vitals until 3:30am, then He finally got to sleep....until 4:45 when he woke up to go potty. Then he actually got to sleep!
They kept him for 24 hours and we got to come home today. He is doing SO MUCH BETTER!!! He's eaten more in the last 12 hours than he has in the past week! Which is great because the kid who is already a twig, and VERY PALE, has lost 4 pounds in the past week...he looks like a white toothpick with a bobble head on top...he could be a vampire in Stephenie Meyers books....

He should have a better recovery from here on out....but I'm still a nervous wreck...that was horrible. I NEVER want to see any of my kids go through something like that again. I am so grateful for the prayers of many friends and family. Thank You!!!
Conor's buddy Cameron came to visit him at the hospital---it brightened his day!
More than ready to go home!

Free Public Service - $$ -> Broken Toys

Yesterday, I took Chase and his friend Harison for some Blazer Tag Action. Even though we didn't get to shoot each other with real guns (soooo un-Texan) we had a blast. The second game was a free-for-all and Chase jumped from a rank of 12 to a rank of 4 (beating me) on the second round! It was later that he revealed that even though he as "with" Harison, he was constantly shooting him in the back and blambing others. :)

Anyway, between games, the boys hit the arcade. It took them about 4.5 minutes to blow through ten dollars, and run for the showcases to pick out some crap toys which were all broken by the time we got home. It was then I realized the huge ineffeciency in this process:


1) Drive to Arcade:


2) Put money in a machine that spits out tokens:
===>


3) Put tokens in a game that spits out tickets:
=====>

4) Put tickets in a machine that spits our a receipt:

====>

5) Convert receipt into crap toys (after 22 minutes at the counter)
====>

6) Give crap toys to boys that spit out broken crap toys:

=====>


7) Drive Home:

Other parents must be going through the tedious process as well. So, as a FREE public service, I'm here to help you skip all these time consuming task. Just send your money directly to me, and I'll in turn ship a box of broken crap toys directly back to you.

This service is 100% FREE. I'm here to help.

Only in Texas...

In Utah, everyone hunts. I recall when I was little, there was an official school holiday for the deer hunt which was later renamed to something more politically correct like "Teacher Prep Day". Utahans like to get all dressed up in cammo, spray deer urine on them, and get enough snacks to last 4 months and then head out for a weekend of shoot first, look second. They then come home and put it all away until next year.

Texans are different. We have guns and we have them at all times. We don't really care about hunting or an particular occasion. It's just part of getting dressed: pants, shirt, shoes, socks, rifle, shotgun, side-arm, and boot-gun. All check.
We're the only state that has airport security for when you get off the plane. If you don't have a gun, we don't let you in. We'll issue to you.

One of my first activities and went to as a mutual leader was gun safety and shooting. They were going to have the youth go to "Especially for Youth" until the rumor got around that there were two kids in our church who were not bringing guns to seminary. The Bishop immediately stepped in, canceled the trip and we had the entire church go shooting.

Here are some typical magazines you'll find in a Texan home:




Being a transplant to Texas, we accept this (although we're not into guns - Steph's Kung-Fu moves are enough protection and she's registered as a weapon.) However, this week I was getting my hair cut and saw a magazine that made we think that perhaps we've gone a bit overboard:


Garden and Gun magazine?!?! I know fire-ants are bad, but are guns really needed? Ah heck, why not!

I do have this to say about Texas.

Every single morning, all school age kids are REQUIRED by law to say a pledge of allegiance to the Texas Flag. After which, and some what as an after thought, they say the pledge to the U.S. flag. During this time when other states are removing all religious symbols from government buildings for fear of lawsuits, Texas, just this year, changed their pledge from:

"Honor the Texas flag; I pledge allegiance to thee, Texas, one and indivisible."
to
"Honor the Texas flag; I pledge allegiance to thee, Texas, one state under God, one and indivisible."

Wasn't a single complaint (remember, we have guns). Don't mess with Texas.

Breakfast of champions

As I've mentioned...My brain is stretched way to far these days....
Between, trying to pack up and sell this house, build a new one, 5 kids home from school, Conor's surgery and problems following (Yes, he's STILL having a HORRIBLE time!!) and no sleep, I've now missed 2 of my own Dr. appointments, and this morning, I did this,,,,,

My 12 year old, Madi has always been a morning person...I have NEVER been....Anywhoo this morning, she was up bright and early...me, not-so-much....(rough night with Conor...again, ...)she got out a recipe from a magazine for a Broccoli, ham and cheese omlette and whipped up this beauty.I come stumbling out and Wyatt says, "Mom! I want some cereal!!"
So, I get out his bowl and fill it with cereal, get the milk, pour it on...then he says, "MOM!!! I want chocolate milk!!" So, again to the cupboard, get a glass, set it next to his bowl, get the Nesquick chocolate powder, scoop up a big honkin' spoonful
and dump it right on top of his cereal...

Being 4 years old, he of course flips out, crying, "I DIDN'T WANT CHOCOLATE ON MY CEREAL!!! I WANTED CHOCOLATE MILK!!!"

I tried to stir it in real quick...tried to show him, look, it's gone!!...but he doesn't fall for my bluffing anymore.

Madi tried to console him by saying, "Don't worry Wyatt, Mom won't make you breakfast again...I'll do it!!"

I suck.
Best of all, do you like how I didn't waste a second grabbing the camera off the counter to record my stupidity?
Clearly I'm in no condition to even be blogging...

Pizza! Pizza!

Now that summer is here, I'm sure I'm not the only one who has thought about ordering pizza at least one a week. My sister sent me some helpful hints for when you are ordering pizza over the phone...making everyone's experience a pleasant one.

-If using a touch-tone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask the person
taking the order to stop doing that.
-Make up a charge-card name. Ask if they accept it.
-Use CB lingo where applicable.
-Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal.
-Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation."
-Tell the order taker a rival pizza place is on the other line and you're
going with the lowest bidder.
-Tell them to put the crust on top this time.
-Do not name the toppings you want. Rather, spell them out.
-Put an extra edge in your voice when you say "crazy bread."
-Stutter on the letter "p."
-Ask for a deal available somewhere else. (e.g. If phoning Domino's, ask for
a Cheeser! Cheeser!)
-Ask what the order taker is wearing.
-Crack your knuckles into the receiver.
-Say hello, act stunned for five seconds, then behave as if they called you.
-Rattle off your order with a determined air. If they ask if you would like
drinks with that, panic and become disoriented.
-Tell the order taker you're depressed. Get him/her to cheer you up.
-Change your accent every three seconds.
-Order 52 pepperoni slices prepared in a fractal pattern as follows from an
equation you are about to dictate. Ask if they need paper.
-Act like you know the order taker from somewhere. Say "Bed-Wetters' Camp,
right?"
-Start your order with "I'd like. . . ". A little later, slap yourself and
say "No, I don't."
-If they repeat the order to make sure they have it right, say "OK. That'll
be $10.99; please pull up to the first window."
-Rent a pizza.
-Ask if you get to keep the pizza box. When they say yes, heave a sigh of
relief.
-Put the accent on the last syllable of "pepperoni." Use the long "i" sound.
-Move the mouthpiece farther and farther from your lips as you speak. When
the call ends, jerk the mouthpiece back into place and scream goodbye at the
top of your lungs.
-Tell them to double-check to make sure your pizza is, in fact, dead.
-Imitate the order taker's voice.
-When they say "What would you like?" say, "Huh? Oh, you mean now."
-Say it's your anniversary and you'd appreciate if the deliverer hid behind
some furniture waiting for your spouse to arrive so you can surprise
him/her.
-Amuse the order taker with little-known facts about country music.
-Ask to see a menu.
-Belch directly into the mouthpiece; then tell your dog it should be
ashamed.
-Order a slice, not a whole pizza
-Order two toppings, then say, "No, they'll start fighting."
-Learn to properly pronounce the ingredients of a Twinkie. Ask that these be
included in the pizza.
-Call to complain about service. Later, call to say you were drunk and
didn't mean it.
-Tell the order taker to tell the manager to tell his supervisor he's fired.
-Ask if the pizza is organically grown.
-Ask about pizza maintenance and repair.
-After ordering, say "I wonder what THIS button on the phone does." Simulate
a cutoff.
-Start the conversation by reciting today's date and saying, "This may be my
last entry."
-State your order and say that's as far as this relationship is going to
get.
-Ask if they would like to sample your pizza. Suggest an even trade.
-Perfect a celebrity's voice. Stress that you won't take any crap from some
two-bit can't-hack-it pimple-faced gofer.
-Put them on hold.
-Mumble, "There's a bomb under your seat." When asked to repeat that, say "I
said 'sauce smothered with meat'."
-Make the first topping you order mushrooms. Make the last thing you say "No
mushrooms, please." Hang up before they have a chance to respond.
-When the order is repeated, change it slightly. When it is repeated again,
change it again. On the third time, say "You just don't get it, do you?"
-When they say "Will that be all?", snicker and say "We'll find out, won't
we?"
--Dance all around the word "pizza." Avoid saying it at all costs. If he/she
says it, say "Please don't mention that word."
-If he/she suggests a side order, ask why he/she is punishing you.
-Ask if the pizza has had its shots.

Monkey Business

With all that's going on around here these days, I'm feeling all discombobulated. I'm trying to remember too many things at once. I'm trying to be organized in both thought and action...but failing miserably....My brother-in-law recently told me about someone he heard about, and I think it describes how I'm feeling exactly...

"There's a guy, and the guy said that there's this monkey in his head...and he's got pants on...and he starts thinking, how did that monkey get his pants on? Did he use his imposable thumbs? Did another monkey come along and help him? How did that other monkey know what to do to help him? What if....OH CRAP!!! I'M SUPPOSED TO BE DRIVING!"

That's exactly how my mind is working these days.....

help.

Conor's Surgery -- T&A= very sad boy...

Yesterday was Conor's surgery. He had to have a Tonsil and Adenoidectomy for sleep apnea.
When the Dr. came out of surgery, he just shook his head and said that Conor had what are called "Stealth Tonsils" which means they were rooted back into his neck wall and extended clear up into his upper palette....MUCH larger than anticipated. He said that when he pulled the first one out, everyone in the O.R. said, "Where did you get that?!?!?" He also said that his Adenoids were also much larger than he had originally thought...so, in short, they took out A LOT of tissue.

Here's the poor guy after they brought him to us from recovery.

...and here's pretty much the last thing we could get him to drink for the day...
This poor kid had a TERRIBLE night.
I don't think I've ever seen such a horrible reaction to a T&A surgery.
He was in so much pain...despite the Tylenol with Codeine , he couldn't swallow ANYTHING.Plus, his throat swelled up so badly, that he had to breathe out of his mouth, and was still having difficulty. We had a humidifier on him all night, but he still ended up bleeding.Thankfully, after a priesthood blessing, it stopped. By the time morning came, he had 102 fever, was lethargic, and we STILL couldn't get any fluids down him. Mama called the Dr., and the Dr. said, He HAS to drink, or it's back to the hospital to stay!!! He ordered him a stronger pain medication and also an anti-inflamatory, and said if that didn't help by 3pm, then he was going to have to be admitted to the children's hospital.
So far, the new pain meds are helping a TON!!! as well as the anti-inflammatory. We were able to finally get him to drink some water and Gatorade and even eat a little soup....of course, later he threw it all up...but he still seems to be doing better...we'll keep praying for the little guy and a speedy recovery. Thanks to all of you friends and family who have been praying for him already! My poor baby.
We'll keep you posted.

Girls Camp 2008 - Walk in His path

Right after Lance finished up Cub Scout Day Camp with the boys, it was my turn to take off for Gilrs camp, with the girls...obviously...We went to the usual spot "Camp Bovay" which is a BSA camp actually, but we get to go there every year.

It's a beautiful place near Houston...but it's very hot and humid....thankfully, there is a pool there and an air conditioned Mess Hall for meals and crafts!

The Nature Center at Camp Bovay


Me "princess" ...enough said,, and "Big Whit" --Sis. Whitney, our YW Pres...she's 6'2"...thus the nick name...

Here's what Lauren thought of the cafeteria food...

Madi shares her sister's enthusiasm...

However, much enthusiasm when it comes to camp songs!!
I'll poke out my ear drums with a ball point pen if I hear another one of those songs again...
Seriously.

Hanging out at the camp...

Having lots of fun in 100 degrees...

The girls got to tie-dye their camp shirts colors accoring to their year...these gals are modeling their 1st, 2nd, and 3rd year shirts

Girls just wanna have fun!

Bright-eyed and bushy tailed!...That's how Lauren wakes up everyday!...NOT!!!
I seriously don't know HOW her campsite leader got her out of bed in the morning...I've got to find out her secret!!!

At night by the pond

Sis. Leese kickin' back...watching the rest of us work!!
Just kidding, she was still recovering from having surgery for an Ectopic Pregnancy 5 days prior...NOTHING could keep her away!! What a trooper!!

...and nothing says camping like singing camp songs with the guitar!
Hooray for "Big Whit" and her awesome guitar skills!!

Here's Lauren in front of the YW Values garden our stake put in as a service project for Camp Bovay. There are 7 round containers that each represent a value, and have flowers of that value color planted in them. This year we added the arbor, some more planting barrels and the concrete edging with tiles that the girls designed.

Here's mine...the crown gave it away, I know...

Lauren's --Their camp group was called Camp Mohonri-Moriancumur..."Mo-HO" for short...of course...

..and here's Madi's...she didn't get to finish painting the "Walk in His Path" theme on there before they had to get them set in the concrete...maybe next year...

Dressing up for the dance challenge!...Madi was a "nerd"...must get it from her Dad..
.
Lauren, trying out her STRETCHY-pants...

Madi striking a "Charlies's Angels" pose at the Camp Carnival

What a shot!!

As usual, camp was fun and spiritual.
It was Madi's first year, and she had a blast! and Lauren enjoyed her second year!
Great way to start our summer!!