Garage Sale...

Garage Sale....Phooey.
As I have mentioned, we will be putting our
house on the market in May. SOOOoo, I have been
de-cluttering our closets. For the life of me, I do
NOT know where all of this crap came from. There is no
way that my children could possibly PLAY with all of these toys.
So, we decided to have a garage sale..yard sale..tag sale..
whatever you want to call it...
These things drive me crazy.






















First you have to go through everything and price it...
making sure it's not too high, but not too low...
this is your GOOD stuff after all...you paid good
money for it...more than you should have probably...
Then you haul it all outside and strategically display it
so it looks extra expensive..you may even choose to
play a bit of elevator music to loosen up the hoards of
people you're expecting..ya know, maybe push your
baby grand out into the driveway to play for the
shoppers so they feel like they're at Nordstroms.





















However, instead you get the Wal-Mart crowd.
You know who I'm talking about...not trying to
be stereo-typical, or judgmental, but you know
who I'm talking about.
They come by the van loads...or in SUV's and they
mess up all of your nice displays...pushing all of the
buttons, dumping out all of the puzzle pieces ...Then comes
the haggling.."Will you come down on the price?"
Come down on the price!!??!! I paid $300 for that last
week, and I'm now selling it for $0.50!...The Ziploc
baggie it's packaged in cost more than that!...but
finally you agree on $0.25, because their cute little
kids are looking at you like,"Oh PLEASE lady!!! It's the
ONLY toy my mommy can afford to buy me for
my birthday this year!!"....and they hand you a $50.00 bill
and say,"Do you have change?"...what the?!?!?
DO I HAVE CHANGE??!?!
DO I HAVE CHANGE?!?!?
NO!!, I DO NOT HAVE CHANGE FOR A FIFTY DOLLAR BILL!!
But guess what ?!?! I HAVE CHANGED my mind!
Go to freakin' Toys'R'Us with your fifty dollar bill
and buy that kid a REAL birthday present!!! Crimony.




















The rest of the morning goes on like this...
question after question..."Does this work?"
Nope...just thought I'd sell a broken toy to a sucka!
YES, it works!...it just needs new batteries.
"Do you have some batteries so I can check it?"
Get off my property.
"Does this one million piece puzzle have all of the pieces?"
Probably. why don't you sit there on the
driveway and put it together...if it's missing a piece...
I'll cut the price from $.025 to $0.23...idiot...




















Finally, you get to the end and you're just sick of it
and someone catches you in a weak moment,
and hauls off with everything you have left,
plus one of your cars for about $7.50.
Ya feel good about that do ya?!?! Well,
I want a receipt! I am totally writing you off as a charity
on my taxes come next year!




















Glad it's done....I've already decided any more crap I find,
is going directly to Goodwill...that way I'll get a receipt
for my charitable donations, and I won't have to put
myself through that again!