OK, most of us with kids are constantly reminded how
terrible we are as parents. This comes from various
sources:
1. Church. Lessons on subjects we're not doing. (canning,
extraction, ...)
2. That snooty home-room mom that made crepes with
fresh strawberries for the 1st grade class party. We
brought cold cereal in baggies.
3. Anyone that drives a Toyota Prius (3,145 mpg) and
looks at our Suburban (12 mpg downhill).
I guess it shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone that
the most frequent source of criticism is our kids. Let
me offer three examples - all from today:
1. Last night we took our three small boys to see the
movie Ironman (PG-13). Chase was a bit concerned
about the rating. We took a chance and while the boys
enjoyed it, sure enough, there were a few things I wish
they didn't see. During church today, Chase drew the
following picture:
2. Generally, I cook on Sundays. Today was "Fast Sunday".
Now it's a little known bit of doctrine that the person that
cooks dinner gets to snack before everyone else. It's in the
Book of Mormon. Book of Laban I think. Anyway I had just
put the lasagna in the oven and was snacking on some
chips: kettle-cooked and salty - I could hear my arteries
hardening. And then the following:
Chase: Can I have a banana?
Me: Munch, Munch...sure.
Chase (27 sec later): Can I have a piece of bread?
Me: Munch, Munch...we're going to eat soon.
Chase: But its 100% whole wheat. You're eating chips.
Me: ....ummm...yeah...bread would be fine.
3. OK time to eat the lasagna! Half-way through I realize
Wyatt (age 4) is still wearing his church clothes. I go over
to help him take off his shirt and notice he already has
sauce on it.
Me: Oh, you already have sauce on your shirt.
Wyatt (starting to cry): You should have reminded me to
change my clothes! This is all your fault!
So, there you have it. In the space of an afternoon,
three reminders from the kids that I'm a failure. I can't
wait until they are teenagers.
18 comments:
Only THREE reminders in one day? You are doing WAAAAAY better than me!
Let's take off and go away. Someplace warm. We can chat about our shortcomings.
Kids are great....too bad we all kept having them before they could communicate our shortcomings to us and then it was too late....we're all outnumbered. Thppt to our self-esteem!
I wouldn't be too concerned about Chase....he's NINE and he drew that picture?! Wow! Quite the artiste!
You should be more careful with the church clothes though...don't throw lasagna at your kids anymore. It was your fault! ;)
this might be the funniest thing i've ever read. nice one(s) lance!
That made me feel so much better about my day. Fast sunday always seems to be a little harder to me, don't know why! But Anna and Jake both made it clear today that Cody and I need to improve on some things. Your kids are great Lance and you guys are great!
It sounds like the day I had. Some of the things kids do and say you just can't make up. And you'll have to hear a lot worse than that before you can really be considered a failure. I wish I could be a cool mom like you!
Hi Tiburon,
I asked Steph, she said I couldn't go away with you to some place warm to chat. Thanks for the offer.
- Lance
P.S. Perhaps you thought this was a Steph post :)
that steph---what a killjoy, huh??? tell tiburon that i will go away with her someplace warm to discuss......
okay, the pg-13 drawing was awesome, but was it as good as your kid dropping "shitshitSHIT" in nursery when the leader opened the box of cheerios and they spilled all over the room??
yeah, that was a proud moment.
sorry for the foul language--just thought i would let y'all know that the worst parenting award has already been taken by US.
loved the post
Man oh man, they tell it like it is don't they!! At least you don't have another mom for them to compare you to, that is in their opinion "better". I am always hearing from Kade, "I just want to go live with my mom!" He manages to make me feel like a failure mom regularly! At least your not alone right.
Well, I was the naughty one that didn't go to church today because Cameron is out of town and I don't want to fuss with Kashton by myself and, it's Fast Sunday which means I don't have to teach today. So how am I punished??? Kashton is going through a teething spell and CRIED ALL DAY!!! Maybe had I gone to church, Kashton would've felt "the Spirit" and wouldn't have cried all day. Good theory???
That's hilarious! I love the drawing. Don't worry because the "Bourne" movies are Bronson's favorites so we're in your same boat!
I loved this! I can relate totally -- I realized early on that I sucked as a parent big time, for the most part! Sigh. You guys are awesome, sauce on the shirt or not.
So nice to see you are human. I always feel like being a parent is like having all you weaknesses laid out on a buffet table for all to see and critic! Love the drawing!
We have Guitar Hero and as you might know, not all the songs on there are for kids. Justin (1st grade) told his P.E. teacher, when she asked for suggestions to sing while marching outside, that they should sing "Talk Dirty to Me". Yep!
Love your posts.
tib is such a skank! !) that so cracked me up that she thought it was steph posting....or did she? hmmmmm....:)
you guys are great parents! kids do remind us we aren't perfect though. those darn kids.
Chase is a great kid, and such a talented artist! Seriously, you guys have some pretty amazing kids.
The other day Wynton informed me in the car that he had seen a rated R movie on the counter. Dang. We had rented Michael Clayton (we'd read reviews that it just had swearing. Nothing wrong with a few bad words, right? RIGHT?)
Now how do you think I explained that one? Not very well, that's how.
Kids are so funny..especially when they can draw a reminder of why exactly we may suck as parents:) lol
We usually remember it's fast Sunday sometime after we've both eaten a huge bowl of cereal or when we get to sacrament...oh well we suck too.
We are reminded all the time that "teaching our children to speak" was not such a good idea ....and when we tell our kids ...they remind us that - yes once again -it truly is "OUR FAULT- after all - we TAUGHT Em"!
(Haha - isn't parenthood awesome)!
Oh my Lanta---that was ha-larious!!!! I love you guys and your hilarious blog...
Post a Comment