Helpful information concerning rattlesnakes.

Do you see this?!?!
It is a baby rattle snake.
It was in our garage last night.
Lance killed it with a shovel and a hammer.

This is not ok.

I've watched animal planet.

I realize that where there is one baby rattle snake, there are a bunch of brothers and a mom ....somewhere.
I know that baby rattlesnakes are a lot more dangerous than adult rattlesnakes .
I know that their venom is more potent and is compared to that of a coral snake.
I know that my kids will never get to play outside again...unless they carry a shovel and a hammer around with them.

I needed to do some research....to protect my children.
So, I go to the rattlesnake place on Goolge...yes there is one. and I found some VERY HELPFUL information. I feel it is my civic duty to share these with you at this time. These are actual quotes- by the way- from the helpful information about rattlesnakes site I found on Google.

SECTION 1
How to recognize a Rattlesnake

1. "Rattlesnakes have a forked tongue that they flick up and down."
Well, thank you Captain Obvious...NOW I know how to pick out a rattlesnake in a crowd.

2. "Colors can range from shades of brown, gray and black, tones of yellow, cream, rust, olive, and light pink. A rattlesnake’s skin may contain a pattern that is banded, diamond shaped, or blotched. Some species of rattlesnake have no identifying pattern at all."
Excellent...there are no blue rattlesnakes.

3."A snakes vision can detect objects or movement from about 40 feet away, but their vision is sharper when objects are closer."
Oh good...that is so different from other snakes...and people

4."Rattlesnakes have a blunt tail with jointed rattle (Note: baby rattlesnakes don't have rattles and some adult snakes may break or lose their rattles)"
Well duh, we KNOW about the rattle part....but some rattlesnakes don't have rattles...check.

5.A Rattlesnakes eyes have vertical "cat-like" pupils"
Like I'm going to get close enough to check that out....Oh look! One pupil is larger than the other...what we have here is a rattlesnake with a head injury.

It gets better folks.

SECTION 2
What are the symptoms of a rattlesnake bite?
(what the?...are they serious?)

1."One or two puncture marks"
So then how do you know if you've been bitten by a rattlesnake or a vampire?

2."Pain, tingling or burning at the area of the bite"
again...happens with vampire bites

3."Nausea, weakness and lightheadedness, difficulty breathing"
Yeah well, that happens when people see snakes anyway...


WELL.
THANK YOU MR. GOOGLE RATTLESNAKE PAGE OF ABSOLUTELY USELESS INFORMATION.

Now, here's my version.

How to recognize a rattlesnake

1.If you see a snake, it doesn't matter what kind it is. Grab a shovel and a hammer and beat the hell out of it until it is dead.

And THAT my friends is useful information.
THAT will keep our children safe.

Things around my house that are ok...and NOT ok

So living in the "country" on "land"--and I use those terms loosely due to the fact that we in fact only live about a mile out of the "burbs" and as far as "land" goes, we only have 2 acres, but still-- It has it's pros and cons...

One of the pros is all of the wildlife we get out in these parts such as:

This cute little road runner the kids named "Rodie"
Lived in our backyard...until he tried to cross the road to the neighbors and somebody squished him....maybe he thought he was a chicken.... I saw a couple more out there the other day :)

Deer...cute, but they poop on my lawn and eat my flowers....at least until I came upon them in my yard one night while driving into my driveway, at which point, I literally ran them off my land with my FJ, with Lauren in the car whining, "Moooooommm! you're so mean!!!"

A porcupine. or as we like to call them "porkily pines"
Again...tried to cross the road....you know the rest of the story...I'm not really sure I want any more of these...


THESE, however, I love!

These guys set up shop in the sewage drainage pipe of our RV...which is only about 3 inches in diameter to give you an idea of how small these fellas are...

check out their cute li'l afros

They look like Buckwheat


Peter Cotton-Tail lives out by our trampoline


See his cute li'l tail?
He eats weeds.
He is a good bunny.

Now.
There are some things around here that are not ok.

This is the devil's spawn.
Nutsedge.
It is a weed and it takes over EVERYTHING.
Why can't the deer eat that?


I am pretty sure I almost had a cardiac arrest when I saw this crawling up the outside of my house. Brave Lance destroyed it with a big rock....I think he screamed like a little girl a couple of times when it tried to attack him...

This I found while weeding the flower beds out front.
I was immediately done weeding.
I told Lance, "There is a dead Tarantula in the front yard...I'm done"
Lance, after further inspection, came to let me know, "No it isn't a dead Tarantula...it is a Tarantula SKIN...they molt...which means it's still alive somewhere....and bigger...."

What a jerk.

We found it a couple of days later.

not ok.

Also, we found one of these on our driveway....I'm pretty sure it's a baby rattlesnake...but I didn't want to find out, so I just went in the house and closed the garage door....and didn't tell my mom I saw it, or she'll never come and visit us again....

You smell something burning?....

Guess where these guys are?

My house.

My house caught on fire.
Yes, I'm talking about the brand new house that Lance and I designed, built and just moved into 6 months ago.
It was Sunday, Sept. 20.
We BBQ'd for dinner, then a few hours later Lance and Lauren went to a Standards Night fireside at the church. When they got home, Lance smelled "something burning", but didn't think too much about it because we live in the country--people burn things.
After getting all of the kids to bed (by now it was around 9:00) Lance, who teaches early morning seminary, was getting ready to prepare his lesson for Monday morning and try to get to bed early since he has to be up at 5am. When he walked into the kitchen to grab his seminary stuff, he smelled "something burning" again... Checking the dishwasher and realizing it was nothing in there, he stepped out onto our covered patio (that is part of the house) and looked around outside. When he turned the light on out there he found lots of black smoke pouring out from under the countertop and out the sink of our outdoor kitchen. He then calmly grabbed the fire extinguisher and came to our bedroom and announced. I think our house is on fire.
I, not so calmly, jumped out of bed yelling, "call 911, call 911!!!" I of course can't FIND a phone, so I look like a headless chicken running around the house yelling, "Where's the stupid phone?!??! I need to call 911!!"
I have no idea what Lance was doing at this time.
Probably watching me thinking, "She's gone crazy", when instead, he probably should have been helping me find the stupid phone so I could call 911.
FINALLY I find a phone and dialed 911--I was kind of scared to because we're always taught you shouldn't do that unless it's an emergency... but I figured "burning smell" and lots of black smoke...warranted an "emergency".

Lance finally made himself useful and got the kids up and out of the house. :)
I was on the phone with dispatch telling them that we didn't dare open up the access panels under the counter for fear of fanning the flame. But they told me to get my hose and do it anyway. Lance came back after getting the kids settled out front to see me squirting water everywhere with the hose while on the phone. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?!??" he yells at me--"SHE TOLD ME TO DO IT!!!!" I yell back pointing at the phone. The nice lady on the phone then tells me I'd better go flag down the firetruck, since we have no street lights or house numbers and our driveway is over 200 feet long.....so I do it...in my PJ's mind you...at least it was my cute pink and white striped ones....no shoes...ouch.

The firemen get out and I lead them to the back of the house where Lance has taken over my job of squirting the hose. As we come around the side of the house, I yell, "You got those hot dogs done yet hon?--company's here!!" Those firemen have a good sense of humor cuz they laughed.

I then left all of them to do their business--meaning putting out fires--and went around front to see how my kids were doing

here they are waiting.

Chase realized we forgot and left the dog in the house--actually, I didn't "forget"...I just didn't care :) (see previous posts) But went and got the stupid little puppy to keep Chase from hyperventilating.

Here are the nice firemen tearing out my BBQ and countertop trying to get to the flames which were underneath and heading up inside the wall....

They did a good job and got it all put out before it had a chance to travel up inside the wall to the upstairs.

These guys were good sports too--Wyatt, who is in kindergarten-- had the class Mascot "Tuffy" staying with us at the time, so "Tuffy" had to get a picture with the firemen

The firemen told us if we had just gone to bed, the fire would have continued up in the wall to the roof, at which time, it would have been too late and we would have lost the house....as seen in exhibit A

Exhibit A

They also told us that the reason for the fire was because the whole thing was not installed correctly by our moron builder--who instead of hiring someone who knew what they were doing to do it, decided to save a buck and do it himself--which I could do an ENTIRE other post about, but will spare you....you're welcome. Needless to say, the builder (and his insurance) are taking care of it...but the entire thing will need to be ripped out and done properly with cinder blocks for framing instead of 2x4's which, incidentally, are flamable.

Did I mention that the BBQ is hooked directly to our 500 gallon propane tank buried in our front yard?...No?,,,just sayin'

All in all, we recognize how close we came to major tragedy, but recognize also, the blessings of our Heavenly Father in His sparing us this particular trial. In talking to the kids after everything was over--if we lost the house--it's just a house--the most important thing is that everyone was safe...even the stupid dog. Anyway, it's not like we haven't lived in our trailer before... :)

The next day, Wyatt and "Tuffy" pretended to put out the fire

Then for Family Home Evening, we took some pie and ice cream to the firemen to thank them
and they let the boys and "Tuffy" crawl all over and through their trucks and stuff, which they thought was pretty cool--it also made for some great pics for Wyatt's "Tuffy" journal he had to do for school. :)

Letter number 2

Stupid puppy,
Notice I didn't start our this letter with "dear" this time. There's a reason for that. There is nothing "Dear" about you. Although Chase would beg to differ. Be grateful you have allies stupid puppy....stick close to them.
Now. I realize you are young. BUT. Are you really that stupid? Because your behavior would lead me to believe that you are. WHY oh WHY do you still have "accidents" in my house? I was VERY disappointed to find out that if I stop feeding you , I'll get in some kind of trouble with the law and animal rights activists. I now have to think up a new plan to stop this nonsense. You whine to get out of your kennel ALL the time. So what do I do? I let you out. I take you outside to go potty, and when you do, I make a BIG deal out of it. Parades, fireworks, the whole bit. So explain to me why then, when we come back into the house, you still go potty on my floor?
I hate you when you do that.
And speaking of whining.
When daddy and Lauren get up at 5:30am to go to Seminary, this DOES NOT mean you need to get up too. They don't even let dogs go to seminary. It IS NOT your responsibility to wake up the rest of the family at this time. We still have another hour before we need to get up. If you thought it was your job to bark over and over again from 5:30 until 6:30...you were grossly misinformed. This will be your last warning about this stupid puppy. Because you know what? In two months I'm taking you to get your "package" removed...and guess what else they can remove if you don't shut your trap?...your barky box. And don't think I won't do it. THAT is not against the law.
I am leaving this weekend and I will not miss you. You had better be good for your babysitter Erika, or else I'll tell her to put you in a bag with rocks and take you for a swim at Town Lake.
You just think about that stupid puppy.

P.S. I'm getting pretty good with the bow and arrow.

The First Second day of school

Wyatt's First Day of Kindergarten!!

So, as I mentioned before...Wyatt had to miss his first day of school because he was sick, but he got to go today!!! He LOVED it!! I went to see him at lunch today. He looked at me and said, "What are you doing here? Do I have to go home now?" I reassured him that I just came to say hi and see how his first day was going..."Good!" he said...which reassured me :)

People always tell you that "time will fly by" when you're struggling with all of your little babies at once, and you roll your eyes and think "yeah right...it will ALWAYS be this way!" BUT I have to admit....they were right. :( My oldest baby started High School this year, and now my youngest baby is in kindergarten. I'm the kind of person who just trudges through things full speed ahead...do what you gotta do because it needs to get done...every once in awhile I stop myself and take it all in...that's a mistake!! I did that today after reading a totally sweet poem about letting your kids go into the world, and I admit that I cried a little over having no more babies at home to love on, so love those babies while you've got them at home because "time will FLY by!"